theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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