This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
