I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
