I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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