dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
