I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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