yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize