We named our party play list daddy issues
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
