haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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