So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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