Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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