By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
