using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
