Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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