As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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