I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
