yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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