Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
