I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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