im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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