Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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