More tranny stories later!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
