The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
