So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
