She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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