I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
