For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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