so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
