just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
