you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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