He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize