According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
