as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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