what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
