Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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