Just fell off a train. Bad.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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