the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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