did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
