I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
try to milk me bitch
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