I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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