hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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