So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
