you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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