Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my liver is dry heaving
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize