I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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