Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
are you so shy because you have an std?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
