That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
