No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
