Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize