In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize
