do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
