I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
