so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
