So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
