your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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