I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
