i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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