in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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