I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
