"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
