Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
