i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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